Can you shed your virginity come a finger — or to a tampon, or a mountain bike, for the matter? Let"s talk around that. 

Virginity is an awkward subject, not in the least due to the fact that so much focus has been inserted on the presence of an undamaged hymen in conservative societies ever because the middle ages.

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The existence of the hymen, a membrane meant to sheathe a an excellent portion that the quality opening, is expected to denote honor and chastity, proof the a certain woman or girl has actually not sexually been touched by a man. 

The expectation that a girl or woman would certainly rupture she hymen upon very first sexual intercourse — usually on she wedding night — and that this would be attach by observable bleeding, has actually been one integral part of this concept of virginity.

Is this a tiny bit outdated? Absolutely.

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Hymens Come In All various Kinds, and also They Don"t constantly Rupture

Hymens come in all different kinds.

Some cover the vaginal opening completely, while others leave just a small hole that doesn"t allow for the insertion of a tampon. Both the these require surgery.

Some are thick and nearly impenetrable, if others are thin and also devoid of the blood vessels the would bring about bleeding, meaning they rupture however don"t bleed.

Some are so flexible that they never rupture at all, also after your owners have actually been with a vaginal bear or two, when others space so delicate that they spontaneously rupture throughout a gym class. 

 When you look at the facts, it easily becomes evident that the condition of a female"s hymen — intact or not — doesn"t have actually all that much to do with whether she has had actually sexual relationships at all. If it wasn"t for cultural norms, we could take the hymen the end of the conversation of whether a female is a virgin or not altogether. 

So, deserve to You lose Your Virginity to A Finger?

Women and also girls who have never had vaginal sex-related intercourse with a man have frequently been identified as virgins. If friend agree with this definition, then no, you can"t lose your virginity come a finger. If you think you lose your virginity the minute your hymen ruptures, however, you can.

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Virginity is, friend see, a social quite than a organic construct.

If you room not sure whether that is true, simply ask yourself whether over there is a universal definition of what the means. Room you still a virgin if you kissed someone? What about non-vaginal intercourse? What about non-penile vaginal intercourse? Different civilization will price these concerns rather differently. 

That can mean among two things. If you live in a society that doesn"t place a high emphasis on continuing to be a virgin until your wedding night, you obtain to decide what virginity way (if anything!) all by yourself. If you perform live in such a society or sub-culture, and you are expected come bleed on your wedding day, you might be in require of medical aid in the type of hymenoplasty (hymen repair surgery) whether or no you have had actually sexual intercourse. If you can"t prove the your hymen is intact, you may, after ~ all, have difficulty convincing others that it wasn"t a finger (likely socially unacceptable) but vigorous physical task that brought about your hymen come break.