Sometimes it"s hard to gauge message messages. A most stuff gets lost over SMS text airwaves — tone, sarcasm, body language — and also these things are all an essential components the conversation. Because that instance, when a guy calls you babe over text, walk that median he wants to be your boyfriend? once your crush sends out you a winking emoji, does that median they’re only looking for sex? that not always easy come tell whether someone wants to date you or just sleep v you, and also while texts can tell you a lot, they can not tell girlfriend everything.

According to author and self-love activist Susan Ball, a human being who’s no interested in dating you (but is def interested in sleeping with you) will constantly make referrals to sex, both with texts and also in person. As ball previously described to elite Daily, "If they room not talking to you around anything other than sex or making breakthroughs on you that room not playful, yet outright sexual, lock are only interested in one thing.” having a friend v benefits can be pretty awesome, yet if you’re looking come do an ext than hook up, then below are some signs the human being you’re talk to more than likely isn’t top top the very same page.

They’re extreme From The Start

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While it might seem favor a good sign as soon as someone tries to gain your relationship to progress quickly, it’s also possible that person has ulterior motives. If someone is calling friend babe, wanting to present you to their parents, and talking around the future before you’ve also been top top a 3rd date, then opportunities are they’re much more interested in gaining you right into the bedroom 보다 actually bringing you end to your parents’ house. As ball said, if girlfriend hear things like, "I"ve never ever met anyone favor you, baby. We space going come be with each other forever. I love you," too soon after you start seeing someone, climate it is absolutely "time to bounce."

Diana Dorell, intuitive date coach and also author the The dating Mirror: trust Again, Love Again, agreed, including that who who’s trying to find a relationship is likely more willing come take things slow. “When someone is not simply interested in sex, they will certainly go in ~ the pace that you feeling comfortable with, particularly if it"s slower than their own as soon as it concerns anything physical,” she told upstream Daily. Yet if your day only has sex ~ above the brain, climate they’re likely going to it is in intense with you from the get-go.

They always Want To remain In

A person who’s looking for a companion will want to go out on dates, however if who only ever before texts you to hang out at your place or theirs, then they’re probs much more interested in obtaining intimate 보다 impressing you. As Dr. Gary Brown, a prominent couples therapist in Los Angeles, formerly told upstream Daily, "One indicator is that they text you and also only want to cave at their ar or her place. Typically, they never ever send a message that says, "Would you prefer to go the end for dinner?""

Even if your date is on a budget and also unable come afford high value dinners, Dorell stated someone who wants to day you will make an initiative to carry out something the doesn’t involve near proximity to a bed. “They will normally take you places away from your home because they are looking to get to recognize you and also put some effort in,” she said. “If every your days are an ext like ‘hang the end at mine house’ invitations, that shows someone who is comfortable putting in minimal effort to obtain to understand you and also making points as practically for them together possible, commonly to gain you into bed!”

They Send Late-Night Texts

Even an ext telling that what someone texts you is when (and exactly how often) they message you. According to Kali Rogers, date expert and founder the Blush online Life Coaching, “Casual flings are repeatedly significant by little to no communication throughout the week, last-minute plans, group hangs, and not intermingling through close friends or household members.” If who ghosts you every week only to struggle you increase on the weekends, climate you can probably number out whereby you floor on their list of priorities.

The timestamp of the text can also give you a hint about what they yes, really want. "One note is they text you at odd hrs of the job or night and also say "Hey, friend wanna hang out?" or miscellaneous similar," Dr. Brown previously explained. "Not exactly romantic, and also it is most likely they just want sex."

They Only have Surface-Level Convos

If who is interested in an ext than sex, then they’ll make sure you recognize they’re interested in you. When a day is reluctant to have anything beyond superficial conversations, then it’s normally a sign they’re only searching for a superficial relationship. As Dorell previously said, “ they space half-listening come what friend say and also may shot to interrupt girlfriend by emotional you or transforming the subject, specifically if the conversation veers into an ext emotionally breakable territory,” then they’re most likely not interested in anything past sleeping v you.

Claudia Cox, relationship coach and also founder of text Weapon, agreed through Dorell, including that convos will likely revolve about a few key object if someone only wants come hook up. "Are they only interested in superficial conversations the revolve around your looks, your following hookup, or your sexual preferences? If that feels favor they are only telling friend what you desire to hear, and not showing their true selves, then proceed with care,” she previously told elite Daily.

They carry Up Sex at an early stage & Often

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As round said, who who’s just looking to get down and also dirty i will not ~ be shy as soon as it comes to the topic of sex. If someone who’s seeking a relationship might be hesitant to mention intimacy appropriate away — not wanting to scare you off or do you uncomfortable — a person who only wants come hook up will dive right right into the subject. Together founder of Rapport relationship Jennifer Rhodes previously told upstream Daily, “Anyone that brings up sex in the first two seconds of date is not serious.”

Even if a date isn’t especially talking around having sex through you, a person who’s quick to tell you around their sex-related past and also preferences is generally trying to send a sign. As Andrea Amour, founder and also dating coach at upgrade Coaching, told elite Daily, “ "sexcapades" or a crazy orgy stories don"t shout future husband or wife material, therefore if someone is storytelling around kinky stuff, it"s probably a an excellent sign castle don"t watch you together ‘future’ material.”

They Can’t save Their Hands turn off Of You

It may be flattering once the human being you’re see is all around PDA, however getting handsy can additionally be a sign they don’t desire to obtain serious. Follow to Rogers, if "you"re the end together, and they constantly desires to kiss you, rub you, grope you, and also tell girlfriend they can"t wait to gain all naked," climate they’re likely just counting under the secs until you obtain it on. And also when that’s every they deserve to think about, then they’re absent out top top actually obtaining to understand you.

Physical human body language is a great way come tell someone you’re interested in them, such together sitting alongside someone, emotional their arm or hand, or holding eye contact. Yet if someone is doing too lot of this too soon — or never ever not emotional you — climate you have the right to usually finish their attention is 100% physical. “When someone"s act a the majority of these, plus touching much more intimate body components like her legs or your face, it argues your day is in search of something more sooner quite than later,” Amour formerly explained.

They speak They’re Not in search of Anything Serious

Believe it or not, people who aren’t interested in obtaining into a relationship will commonly tell girlfriend from the begin — and while you might think girlfriend can adjust their mind, you normally can’t. “Most world are really clear about their expectations obtaining into something new,” Rogers said. “It"s not unusual for who to say, "I"m not in search of anything serious," ~ above a very first date.” If girlfriend are looking for something significant (or at least something much more than sex), climate you most likely want to gain out before you gain hurt.

There’s nothing not correct with having actually a relationship based upon sex if it is what you’re right into right now. Yet if you’re hoping for something more, then you’ll desire to keep an eye out for these really telling signs.


Susan Ball, author and also self-love activist

Diana Dorell, intuitive dating coach and also author of The dating Mirror: trust Again, Love Again