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Do not be deceived: “Evil company corrupts great habits.” 1 Corinthians 15:33 NKJV

In our home, when confronted with making a decision or setting rules for our children, we often tend to measure up them by two categories: negotiable and non-negotiable.

You are watching: Show me who your friends are

Here is an example of a negotiable: My center son Jake, at thirteen, was a drummer in a prayer band. As a band member the only clothes he wanted to wear to be hideous slim jeans, a t-shirt and also an same hideous headband. As a mommy who, in some ways, take it pride in exactly how our family members presented ourselves, this to be a hard pill because that me to swallow.

Mom side note: To provide you an idea of exactly how outlandish he looked, one Sunday morning Jake was walking under the sidewalk at church. Our Pastor, who has a wonderful feeling of humor, witnessed Jake and stopped that in his tracks. The took the end his cell phone and also snapped a picture of Jake. Climate he verified Jake his picture and said, “Just in instance you’re wonder what you look like, right here ya go.” My kid laughed that off and was not in the the very least deterred.

Although i wasn’t fond of mine son’s apparel choices, I ultimately lumped this right into our negotiable group as I realized the it was just a have fun of his current fashion sense, no of his heart. I chose to let him obtain it out of his system, and also guess what? that did! i am happy to report, the now has a fashion sense that would certainly make any momma proud.

Now for one of our really important non-negotiables: Friendships. Together mom, native my children’s earliest years, ns laid the end this non-negotiable standard, and also they grew up understanding my expectations where their friends space concerned.

Years back I heard a phrase that came to be one of my numerous mothering mantras …

“Show me your friends and also I will present you your future.”

This previous school year, i was challenged with a instance where one of Jake’s girlfriend was gaining into a many trouble at school and I had actually red flags walk up anywhere the place. I told Jake about my concerns and also gently, but firmly said him the he could no longer hang approximately with this friend. As soon as he realized that his anger and displeasure would certainly not sway my decision, the pulled out all the stop to to convince me the his friend required him in his life and how he was the only great influence in his life. I actually agreed v him top top his clever argument. So, I chose a rare compromise.

I set up a really clear tip for him. Ns explained, “Your friend is constantly welcome in our residence as lengthy as your dad or I room here. We will love him as a family and you deserve to still have him in her life … in our home.” Jake happily agreed. His friend; however, walk not and quickly walked away from your friendship. Trouble solved. 

Upon discussing exactly how some that my oldest son, Jordan’s childhood friends, after graduating from high school, have left church, and are far from the Lord, he claimed to me, “Mom, if you have actually done anything ideal as a mom, it was standing for sure on that we were enabled to hang about with. I recognize that i am who I am this particular day partly because of that I go (and didn’t) invest my time with.”

Friendships truly do impact our children’s future.

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i urge friend to do this a an extremely firm non-negotiable standard through your children. While that is best to implement this standard as soon as they space younger, it is never, ever too late.

Additional bible on friendships: Proverbs 13:20; Romans 12:9-10; Proverbs 27:17